It's important to learn how to handle being "left out."

There will be times when you are “left out”; it’s important that you learn to handle it well.
Bob Mumford

I meditated on this a bit and was reminded of several times in childhood, as a teenager, in college, as a leader, in ministry, in business, in opportunities, and in friendship. There was real and genuine pain that I processed through. Here are some of my thoughts:

- Sometimes my response was to point a finger at them with a feeling of self righteousness that they would have been better off by including me.

- Sometimes it was to stew in pain which I became angry, or subtly passive aggressive causing me to walk around with a slight chip on my shoulder.

- Sometimes it was to belittle them and point out their flaws knowing that in my savior complex that my thoughts, ideas, or presence would have saved them untold mistakes and hours of learning.

- Sometimes it was feelings of inadequacy, not being good enough, spiritual enough, wealthy enough, popular enough, knowledgeable enough, and a range of other “not enough” possibilities.

- Sometimes it was to act like it didn’t bother me without any desire to look in the mirror and change and adapt.

- Sometimes it was to become better than I was by learning, growing, reading, seeking counsel from mentors, pastors, coaches, and anyone I knew with wisdom.

- Sometimes it was to stay in my lane looking for new friends, new opportunities, and new insights that could make me a more creative, knowledgeable, and well-rounded individual.

- Sometimes it was to complain.

- Sometimes it was thinking of how I could sabotage them or “one up” them.

These are honest thoughts of being left out in past seasons of my life over the last 30+ years..

These are some things I believe we should consider and that I've found important when these things happen to me...

- Turn to God and allow him to prune your heart so that the fruits of the spirit can begin to grow from your life bringing nourishment to others going through a similar season.

- Listen for the voice of God by taking time to listen in your times of prayer. Around 70-80% of my prayer times now consist of “waiting on the Lord.” His leadership in my life saves me, walks me through hurt, and positions me for greatness.

- Check your inner circle. Are the people in your life complainers, encouragers, Faith-filled, or are they adding gas to your fire of pain. You may need to distance yourself from certain individuals in your life and draw nearer to others! In fact, this often times will water or uproot the seeds of what God has spoken to you. Satan uses those closest to us when they're not in alignment with God, not just our enemies.

- If the Lord has put something on your heart, and it matters to you. Then do something about it! If you don’t know how to get there, then ask someone who is already there, and they will give you directions. After you receive the directions, do a first step TODAY! Do not delay or wait. You may say I don’t have time today…my response…every human being that has ever lived had the same 24 hours in a day and 7 days in a week. Greatness was not a received position, but those who stewarded well the time given in each day by the Lord! Oh, and by the way...as soon as you act on this, attacks will come to try and get you to deviate from your newfound purpose. This fire of testing is a good thing. Keep going. Don't quit!

- Humble yourself, and learn! Other opportunities will always come. But anything worth obtaining is worth paying for! Pay any price to obtain wisdom. There are many free things that you can obtain by seeking Godly counsel, immersing yourself in the word of God, committing to ongoing prayer, and checking free resources on social media. I’ve found in my life that putting my money where my mouth is (or where your treasure is, there your heart will be also - Matt 6:21) has as much to do with obtaining wisdom and growing than anything else. Why? Because when I invest in something that costs me something, then I’m more interested to learn because I’ve placed my hard earned and limited resources into it! It matters more to me because I placed value on it.

- After you've received wisdom and knowledge, remove all excuses to begin walking in it. Again...NOW. Not later. Get up earlier, go to bed later, use your drive times, put time on your schedule with no distractions to lock in and implement the wisdom. Only applied wisdom and knowledge produces results in your life.

- GIVE into the area you're seeking breakthrough in whether friendships, spiritual counsel, expertise, opportunity, growth, mentors, etc. What you give to will become a seed that will produce fruit where you need it most.

- Get multiple people that pour into your life. I recommend having multiple leaders speak into your life in every area. Some leaders are experts in family matters, some leaders are experts at growing a business, some leaders are experts in getting over the humps in your life, some leaders are experts at spiritual counsel, some leaders know how to save your time and energy in problem solving & systems and processes, and still overs can put you into a room with the right people that will bring you into your destiny. Submit yourself to the process. Do it in all major areas of your life. Do it often. Commit.

- Add value to people. (Philippians 2:4). Take an interest in helping them accomplish their goals, standing with them and seeing them through in their pursuit, cheering them on.

If you apply these principles, you'll be in a much better place when being "left out." Don't see being "left out" as a negative but as an opportunity to learn, grow, gain wisdom, and changing what needs to change so you'll be ready.

In fact, I'm confident that if you apply these principles, the Lord will use you to be the one offering the opportunities to others.